Which is the age at which kids learn to compare?At what age do they understand status (social/financial) of their family and their friend’s family?
My nephew is 5 year old. He studies in one of the most reputed school in his city. This particular school has kids coming from well off families owning 2 -3 cars and big houses..This is where the problem starts,my bro and bhabhi have two 2 wheelers and a 2bhk flat. As if now they are staying in rented house and would soon be moving to their own flat so they have minimum furniture as of now. Now this is something which really upsets my nephew. When he goes to my 2nd bro’s house there he sees sofa set ,dinning table and all other furniture. Same stuffs he sees at his paternal and maternal grandparents place too. Ofocurse his friends place have many more exotic pieces of furniture.
Hence he thinks his parents do not earn enough money to buy the same things (he is too young to understand that these stuffs are actually not needed now and would be bought once they move to their own house).It makes him sad. He compares his things with other kids in his school and daycare. He goes to Euro kids daycare after his school hours. Again kids there come from wealthy families bringing exotic bag packs , clothes ,shoes etc. Thats where they learn to compare and compete. My nephew had a shirt from Lilliput which he wore to daycare. Another kid of his age cried his heart out to his mum to buy the same shirt for him as he thought his clothes were not as good as my nephew’s. Even my nephew once created a havoc to buy those spider man shoes that his best friend has.
This comparison amongst kids is something to worry about. At a tender age of 4-5 years they have learned to compare and feel superior (if they have costly stuffs) or inferior (if their stuff is not as good as their friends).They feel jealous and they get upset to realize that their parents do not earn enough to meet their needs.
I once visited bro and bhabhi. I had taken a flight that time though I usually travel by train. And my nephew opened my bag and saw my boarding pass. He immediately asked me if I had come by flight. I knew what was cooking in his mind and I told him that I have as usual come by train and that flight ticket is not mine. I stand guilty here of lying to him but then the need of the hour was to not make him feel sad.
Though parents do their best to give their kids best of education and send them in the best schools. But somehow I guess this instead of doing good does harm to their personality as they get more and more involved in comparing and competing. This creates jealousy amongst them. They then make their own group which have kids from similar family background and few kids from not-so-good families are left alone:-(
My bhabhi once asked my nephew to name his friends in his day care. He named some and then added that his gang does not play with a kid ‘A’ because he does not have many clothes and repeats his dresses quite often. On other occasion he said they don’t speak to another kid as he daily brings same paratha sabzi hence they don’t share their lunch with that kid 😦
His school has strict uniform and provides lunch to the students hence no comparison there. Thank god for small mercies 🙂
Does it mean that middle level schools are better than these hi-fi schools?But then parents these days definitely don’t want to compromise on school standards and no wonder a good school grooms (enhances) kids personality.
But then how to make these kids understand that though healthy competition is good but this comparison based on social status is not acceptable.
Btw I remember when I was a kid it really dint matter to us which of our friend had vehicles,how often they dined in hotels,basically no comparison was done.How come kids these days think so much?So much goes into their tiny brains..no wonder they are GenX or may be GenZ (I really duuno what generation is this,I guess I still live in that old era 😉