Refusing food prepared by others…

My mil is a wonderful person and am thankful to God for that .This post is not a rant nor do I have anything against her its just my attempt to understand her better.And you ask how?I have no guts to ask her personally but may be when you all read this then may be you can help me understand my mil better by giving me your valuable suggestions.

My owner gave us pongal sweets holige and onion pakoda.As soon as I was informed I started drooling at the thought of soft velvety holige going into my mouth and making my taste glands go happy after a long time.Hubby and me took some of it and offered some of it to my mil,which she point blank refused to even taste it.

There are similar incidences that have happened earlier too.Seema had parceled yummy brownie and dahiwada as a take away for us when we visited her place.*Thank you dear for being so generous*.My mil refused to even look at it (brownie I agree coz it had egg) but dhaiwada well I have no idea.Hubby snacthed the box from my hand and gulped the entire content of it and relished every bit of it.

(He was so impressed with her cooking that when I informed him that we will invite the bloggers to our place he was like β€œBut Seema cooks so well what will you cook for her?You hardly know cooking.May be when they come I’ll get some outside food”.Thats the effect of her cooking on him :-))

The certain points I think because of which my mil does not eat food cooked by someone else are:


1.Person who gave us food,also cooks non veg at home:

I cannot agree with this point because my mil is ever ready to visit hotels for lunch/dinner.Though she has problem with hotels where non veg food is served but still she eats there and eats it BY CHOICE.So if she can eat at eating joints where non veg is prepared and served by the same person in the same vessels than why not from someones kitchen.


2.People while cooking do not care about hygiene:

Am sure food prepared in one’s kitchen would be much more hygienic than one prepared in hotles and not to forget the amount of love and effort that one has poured into making a dish.A hotel chef would just cook for the sake of cooking and not cook out of love.


3.The quality of food (oil,spices) may not be good:

Again I strongly disagrre home cooked food is always healthy than outside food.Secondly please break this mental block that what you cook and eat is of the best quality and what others eat is utter waste.(There are instances when she has indirectly pointed out that even my parents dont cook and eat good quality food,though a proper daal bafla churma meal with tons of ghee added is served to her everytime when she visits them).


4.Too hesitant to eat something new:

Ok I could have digested this but then she does try new dishes in the hotels and she recently also feasted on McDonalds Burger.So I am disqualifying this aspect too.


5.She thinks she might not like the taste :

Fair enough.I agree but till we dont taste it how would we know wether we will like it or not?.Its fine to taste it and not like it but its wrong not to taste itself


This habit of hers really bugs me a lot.I so want to understand what makes her deny food prepared by someone with so much love and efforts.It breaks my heart when she refuses to even look at the food.


I was just wondering the landords plates are still with us and we need to return them back..My mil asked me to cook some northindian dish to give them back as returning empty plates is not good.I completely agree .But what if my landlord thinks the same way my mil thinks and throw away the food ,will my mil like it?Will she not feel bad?If yes then how can she do the same with others.


Another thing that came to my mind,what if we were (hubby & I) not there what would she have done to the pongal sweets.Thrown away in the dustbin?Or give it to the maid?What if maid goes and tells the landlord ,wouldnt they feel bad?


Well I am clueless with this attitude of hers. May be some day I’ll be able to understand her better.Hope is all I have.

20 thoughts on “Refusing food prepared by others…

  1. Are you kidding me…I am more than happy that I get to eat everything..and I dont have to share with MIL πŸ˜‰ see such a bukhad I am πŸ™‚

    But on a serious note, well whatever you say is right, but can you change you cant….she is 50+ she has been brought up that ways..R is 3.5 and is headstrong and sometimes refuses to do things the way I think she should, so your MIL at 50 will definitely find it difficult to change na?..and you cant do anything about just chill and enjoy all the food you day perhaps she will come to accept other people’s food…..Hugs to you πŸ™‚

  2. Ya you right we cannot change anyone.Older the person becomes more difficult it gets to change him/her.My only point is there has to be some reason for a person to behave in a particular way.And you talk about R arre she is a kid she does not understand right and wrong.Let her enjoy her childhood πŸ™‚

  3. Garima, My suggestion is to let her live with her beliefs. Atleast, she doesn’t stop you from eating food from other’s kitchen. In my case, my FIL was very strict about not eating prasadam which is distributed after idol worship as it is banned in the religion. Abbas, Ma and I always sneaked in the Prasadams during Poojas from neighbours without his knowledge and hogged on them. If he doesn’t want to eat, it’s fine. But my problem is when he imposes his beliefs on us.

    Secondly, your hubby liked my cooked food so much eh? My feet are refusing to stay grounded. My day is made to day!!! And hey, tell your hubby not to bother getting food from out for my sake. If he can eat Garima’s cooked food, then I too can very well can. πŸ˜€

  4. A person having religious constraints is acceptable.Like when I fast even I dont prefer eating where non veg is cooked…but when no reason is justified is something which irks me…
    Aree you come to my place then you will know how he manages to eat :-)To kab aa rahe ho mere ghar?

  5. The first thought that came into my mind is “Yay I don’t have to share. I can eat the whole thing” and RM said it already

    But as Seema says as long as she does not stop you from eating, no worries. There might be no reason at all, just leave it for now.

  6. Well I agree that parents/In-laws @ their age would not change n instead we should not bother much on their behaviours/thinking.. coz sometimes we stress ourselves thinking so much.. Agreed its a wierd logic not to accept others cooked food n accept the Hotel cooked food, but some things just dont hv logic of its own!!

  7. take it easy garima as long as she doesn’t interfere in your food habits.. every person has their unique style of handling things and not all actions might have a reason behind it.. πŸ™‚ there may not be any logical reason behind it as you have explained it doesn’t seem to be a logical decision…

  8. ‘she doesn’t interfere in your food habits.. ‘ this leads to other discussion my fil (he is no more now) brought eggs at home and fed his son .But now I am not allowed to bring egg in my own house coz my mil does not like/eat….crazy yeah?
    Yes few things are just so illogical and can never be understood.

  9. you know what? changing anyone is out of question…be it us or older generation…just that stop thinking too much and enjoy πŸ™‚ live and let live works the best in relationships especially MIL-DIL πŸ™‚

    I agree to RMs point..have fun while you get to eat all of it without sharing πŸ˜‰

    On a serious note: I hear you but nothing you can do about it 😦

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