In the last episode of ‘Kaun Banega Crorepati’ there was this Bengali lady from Jharkhand who said that since she is not good looking hence nobody wants to get married to her. She was so upset when she said this and had tears in her eyes 😦
Now this sentence did really touched me and I had mixed feelings of sympathies for her and anger on guys who have such thoughts. This situation which she narrated is rather close to my heart. It started sometime in second half of 2009 when my parents started looking suitable guy for me. Now the definition of a ‘suitable guy’ for them (or us) was an equally educated and financially independent guy (like me) hailing from a decent family.
When proposals started dropping in I got varied experience of different people around me. Let me narrate some of them:
Case 1.A lady calls my mother introduces herself as the prospective guy’s mother. Can you take a guess what was the next thing she told/asked my mother…. She:What is the complexion of your daughter (yes yes this was she asked) Mom:She is fair She:How much fair?? (My mum thinking how is she suppose to measure fairness) Mom:errr..hmm She:My son is very fair and we are looking for a girl who is fairer than him,you know it should be a good couple. Mom:Sorry I don’t think so we should take this proposal ahead She:Why is your daughter not fair ?? (What ,what is she thinking?)
Case 2.Another a lady calls at home,dad picks up the call and conversation goes as below:
She:My son was in XYZ company now shifted to ABC company.
Dad:Is it? Even my daughter was in XYZ company,she was campus recruited.
She:OK, let me share your daughter’s cell number with my son and let them talk. If my son is OK with it then I have no issues.
Dad:Ya sure after all they are the ones to get married
She:But let me tell you I have only one son and he is very intelligent you know so I have high expectations from the girl’s side in terms of marriage. Hope you understand.
Dad:ya I do
The guy calls me we start to interact with each other. Later I called mom and informed her that we can take this proposal ahead. Meanwhile we kept talking and that guy kind of hinted me that he likes me. They came to meet me in my hometown and the guy expressed his opinion and gave a positive response. However his mother was not convinced. She kept saying that she has only one son,very intelligent blah blah…which meant we need to give a big dowry.
My parents liked the guy and even I was fine with it. My dad later called them and his mum has this to say:
She:I dint like you daughter’s looks.
She:Her front tooth has some problem?
Dad:Ya she fell down and hence broken a part of it
She:I dint like that also,ask her to get it fixed and then take a photograph and send it to me. I’ll look at it and then decide.(What the f***)
Dad:But your son liked my daughter he is ready
She:Arre he is a kid,he does not understand and I am again reminding you we want a good marriage.
My views:Dear Auntyji,if your son (age:27)is still a kid why are you getting him married so early?Child marriage is a crime…Secondly dint you say if your son is ready then you are fine,now what happened?And you dint like my looks. Have you ever noticed your son’s growing weight and receding hairline. You say he is very intelligent,what does that mean?Dint we both get recruited in the same company through the same open campus? But then your son is worth a gem and I am not even worth of mud!!!
Case 3: We met this guy who was dark but smart personality. He rejected me in 5 minutes because I had pimples on my face.
Case 4:I met a guy who was dark,had very dumb personality,looked like he was in his mid 30’s dint have the courtesy to ask me what I want just went an ordered two hot coffees in the month of May 🙂 he rejected me saying I have under eye circles.
Case 5 :(This is cherry on the cake) The guy’s dad after speaking to my parents said he would like to speak to me first before he shares my cell no.with his son. My parents agreed and that uncle called me. After initial discussion the conversation was this:
Uncle:I wanted to talk to you first coz my son gets irritated if I forward him the proposals directly without screening them (yeah and what basis would you screen them)
Uncle:Can you send me your some pictures in some western clothes the kind of dresses that today’s girls wear and not typical salwar suit and sarees. He does not like girls in saree and salwar suits (how about his own mother?he hates her too?And will I be allowed to wear those western dresses in front of you after marriage too?)
Me:Speechless,silence from my side not knowing how to react
Uncle:When can I expect the photographs?
I just wanted to say get lost, first learn the decency to talk to a girl of your own kids age and who might become your dil. I mean can we imagine our dads talking to us that way?I informed my parents but they asked to send some pics and for their sake I did . Later uncle again called my dad to ask for some more pics after which my dad promptly kept the phone down and ended the matter immediately. I really don’t know when would people’s mentality change.
A guy’s parents need a smart,educated,working woman along with dowry and who is a blend of modernity and traditions. Even the so called educated guys are same (though there are exceptions).They want a wife who is similar to a TV which can be turned to different channels as per the situation. So in front of his parents she should be homely,respectable and an ideal DIL dressed up in saree or suit..In front of his friends she should be smart,witty with good sense of humor and dressed in westerns. The guy himself might not even have normal looks but then they all want Katrinas and Aishwaryas.
And thank you God for finally sending your angel on earth who is my husband now 🙂 and very much likes my broken tooth,he finds it cute 🙂